A few years ago, I had a conversation with a student who looked unusually withdrawn.
After some time, she shared that a senior had been making her uncomfortable — frequent “jokes” about her appearance, unsolicited comments, and an occasional brush on the shoulder that never felt accidental. She wasn’t sure if it was serious enough to report, but the truth is, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s serious enough.
That incident stayed with me because it’s something I’ve seen happen far too often — in schools, colleges, and even workplaces. Sexual harassment doesn’t always appear as a blatant assault; sometimes it hides behind “playfulness” or “just teasing.” But regardless of form, it’s a violation of personal boundaries and respect.
Sexual harassment includes any unwelcome behaviour of a sexual nature that causes discomfort, fear, or distress. It can be:
Verbal — comments, jokes, or questions about someone’s body or private life.
Non-verbal — staring, gestures, or sharing explicit materials without consent.
Physical — unwanted touching or invasion of personal space.
Digital — sending inappropriate messages or images online.
Power-related — using authority to pressure someone into unwanted attention or favours.
The harm affects confidence, trust, and the sense of safety every person deserves. Sadly, many victims remain silent due to fear of judgment, retaliation, or disbelief.
Over the years, I’ve learned a few key things about overcoming this issue, both as an educator and as a person who believes in safe environments:
Acknowledge your feelings. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Don’t downplay it.
Speak up or report. Schools and workplaces must have confidential channels — use them. You’re not creating trouble; you’re stopping it.
Support others. If you see someone being harassed, don’t stay silent. A simple “Are you okay?” can make a big difference.
Establish clear boundaries. Respect begins with clarity — everyone deserves personal space and dignity.
Leaders must act. Institutions must move beyond awareness campaigns to build systems that protect and empower.
Sexual harassment thrives in silence. But when we talk about it, report it, and hold people accountable, we begin to change the culture that allows it to exist.
Everyone deserves a space where they can feel safe, respected, and valued.
Because safety isn’t a privilege — it’s a right.
Recently, I had a rather unsettling experience on social media. There’s someone on my Facebook friend list — a person I’ve met several times in the past — who began commenting on my posts, especially those related to current events. His comments weren’t made to discuss or share views; they were crafted to provoke arguments. Each time I posted, he would respond with negative, instigating remarks, subtly turning the conversation into something hostile, often in ways that made me look bad publicly.
At first, I felt angry — that familiar urge to respond, to defend my perspective, to “set things right.” But then it hit me: that’s exactly how online instigation works. It’s designed to trigger a reaction, to draw you into a cycle of argument and frustration that ultimately serves no one. So instead, I took a step back. I deleted his comments, removed him as a friend, and blocked him. Not out of pride, but to protect my peace of mind and maintain healthy boundaries.
That experience reminded me that cyberbullying isn’t always direct or obvious. It doesn’t always come in the form of threats or name-calling. Sometimes, it hides behind sarcasm, “debates,” or seemingly innocent comments that are meant to instigate, provoke, or humiliate.
đź’¬ What Is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying occurs when someone uses digital platforms — social media, messaging apps, emails, or online forums — to harass, embarrass, or target another person. It includes:
Public humiliation or mockery, even disguised as humor.
Instigation for fights or arguments in comment sections or group chats.
Spreading false information or screenshots to damage someone’s image.
Deliberate exclusion or isolation online.
Unlike traditional bullying, cyberbullying follows you everywhere — on your phone, your feed, even your quiet moments. The mental and emotional effects can be draining, leading to anxiety, anger, and loss of confidence.
🧠How to Overcome It
Here’s what my own experience taught me:
Don’t engage. Silence is not weakness; it’s strength. Not every argument deserves your attention.
Set digital boundaries. Deleting or blocking someone toxic doesn’t make you petty — it makes you wise.
Document and report. If harassment continues, save screenshots and report it to the platform or relevant authorities.
Seek support. Talk to a friend, colleague, or counselor. You don’t have to handle it alone.
Promote empathy online. The internet should be a space for learning, not hostility. Let your comments add value, not venom.
đź’ˇ Final Thought
Behind every username is a real person — with emotions, struggles, and dignity. If our online spaces can be used to hurt, they can also be used to heal, encourage, and connect. The choice lies in how we respond and the boundaries we choose to protect.
Sometimes, the most powerful statement you can make… is walking away from the noise.
The recent tragic incident at a secondary school in Bandar Utama has shaken many of us. It’s heartbreaking to imagine a young life lost in a place meant to nurture and protect. As parents, educators, and members of the community, we share the same concern — how can we make our schools safer and our students better prepared?
While investigations continue, one lesson is clear: we must strengthen not only our security systems, but also our awareness and readiness to respond when danger strikes unexpectedly.
Understanding Your Right to Self-Defense in Malaysia
Many Malaysians are unaware that our laws do allow us to defend ourselves when facing imminent danger. Under the Penal Code (Sections 96–106), individuals have the right to use reasonable force to protect themselves or others from harm — provided it is proportional to the threat faced.
As we shared in our article The Right to Strike as Defense, this means you don’t need to wait until you’re injured to react, but any action taken must stop once the threat is neutralized. The goal of self-defense is always to escape safely, not to harm unnecessarily.
Why Simple Actions Make the Biggest Difference
During a real-life threat, fear takes over follow by adrenaline surges, fine motor skills drop, and decision-making slows. That’s why training simple, instinctive movements matters most. Complex techniques often fail under stress, but one well-practiced, direct response can make all the difference.
A single, quick movement can:
Interrupt an attack long enough to flee,
Prevent further harm, and
Reduce the risk of fatal injury.
It’s not about fighting back aggressively. It’s about reacting smartly and staying alive.
BBuilding Calm Through Preparedness
In our earlier reflections on school safety, we highlighted how rising cases of bullying and violence have turned fear into a daily concern for many students. The solution isn’t panic — it’s practical awareness and calm preparedness.
When students learn to:
Stay aware of their surroundings,
Recognize early warning signs, and
React quickly to create distance or call for help,
they strengthen not only their physical safety, but also their confidence, composure, and empathy toward others.
A Shared Responsibility
Creating safer schools is a collective effort. Teachers, parents, and professional trainers all play a part in cultivating a culture of safety and respect. Workshops on self-defense, awareness talks, and consistent safety drills can empower students — not to fight, but to protect themselves responsibly and lawfully.
We may not control every incident, but we can control our preparedness, awareness, and response. Sometimes, one simple move — trained and instinctive — can mean the difference between panic and survival.
In recent weeks, Malaysia has witnessed a string of disturbing incidents that have shaken our sense of safety — particularly in Bandar Utama. A young girl was stabbed to death, and another secondary school student was reportedly raped in her hostel. These heartbreaking events are no longer “rare” — they’re symptoms of a growing crisis we can no longer ignore.
Bullying, once seen as “kids just being kids,” has turned violent and life-threatening. Every time one case hasn’t even settled, another emerges. The pattern is clear — our youth are not just being hurt emotionally, but are in real physical danger.
As a reality-based self-defense coach, I’ve seen firsthand how most students are unprepared when real danger strikes. They may know how to talk about “mental health” or “anti-bullying” in theory — but very few know what to do when a situation turns physical, when fear freezes them, or when no one else is there to help.
That’s why starting next week, our self-defense team will be visiting schools in Bandar Utama to conduct Anti-Bullying and Personal Safety Awareness Sessions. Our goal is not to promote violence, but to:
Educate students on how to identify threats and early warning signs.
Empower them with basic, realistic self-defense moves that anyone can use in real life.
Encourage a culture of respect, courage, and standing up — not with fists, but with awareness and action.
We want students to know that self-defense is not fighting back — it’s staying safe. We want parents and teachers to know that education without safety is incomplete.
One case is already too many. We cannot afford to wait for another tragedy before taking action.
To schools, parents, and communities in Bandar Utama — if you share our concern, we invite you to collaborate with us. Let’s build a safer environment together, where students are not only educated but also aware, alert, and able to protect themselves.
Fighting more than one attacker is one of the most dangerous situations you can face. It’s chaotic, unpredictable, and there is no room for hesitation. If escape isn’t an option, you need to be fast, mobile, and ruthless. Here are the key principles to remember:
1. Don’t Stand Still
Standing in one spot is the fastest way to get surrounded and overwhelmed. You must keep moving. Your goal is to create angles, break the group’s formation, and avoid getting flanked. Move laterally, circle around, and use your environment (walls, obstacles, exits) to limit how many attackers can reach you at once.
2. Hit First, Hit Hard
There is no time for fancy moves. Your strikes must be fast, explosive, and aimed at vulnerable targets. Go for:
Eyes
Throat
Groin
Knees
Nose
A single well-placed strike can disable or slow an attacker, buying you precious seconds.
3. Use One as a Shield
If possible, take down or grab one attacker and use their body to block others. Push them into the group. This creates confusion and can buy you space to move or escape.
4. Stay on the Edge, Not in the Middle
Never let yourself be surrounded. Stay on the edge of the group so only one or two can reach you at a time. If you get pulled into the center, you’re in serious danger. Keep moving and keep repositioning.
5. End It Fast, Escape Faster
You’re not trying to win a fight — you’re trying to survive. Disable the closest threat, create an opening, and get out. Don’t stick around to fight everyone. Speed and surprise are your allies. Get in, strike hard, get out.
Bottom Line: Move constantly. Hit vulnerable spots. Avoid being surrounded. And most importantly — get away before the numbers catch up to you.
